1/17/05
When I started this quest, I fully intended to write in my journal every day. It is certainly something that I harassed Erin and Ryan about. But as usual, I have waited until the last, so I will confine my entries to the third week of our trip. Later, I will add other entries that I have not had the time to type up and send.
It is the dry season in Cambodia. Bronchitis and laryngitis have plagued me since I arrived. But the dust of Cambodia is in my eyes, in my mouth and, most of all, in my heart. What a beautiful people; so resilient in the face of so much tragedy and internal strife.
The Panassastra students carry the weight of Cambodia's future on their shoulders, yet they display no resentment towards their burden. Instead, they welcome it with an enthusiasm and determination that we from the Western world could certainly learn from.
When they took us to the Killing Fields, I was the one crying and they were the ones consoling me. How backwards that felt, yet so typical of their ways! They have arranged wonderful weekend trips for us and never complained despite our constant whining. I am ashamed that I have asked anything more of them when they have given so freely in advance.
The students' compassion for the underprivileged children of their society is palpable. They know what challenges they must overcome to improve Cambodia's future. The poor children in this country face threats from all sides: AIDS, malnutrition, sex trafficking, abuse, armed conflict. Yet, the children I have met in the NGOs are joyful and loving. All they want is someone to hug them and play with them, and I find that I desire to give them whatever attention and affection they deserve. The art projects have been going well. It's amazing to see how beautiful these children, who have never held a paintbrush, can draw and paint.
So many emotions course through me during this last week. I can't stop crying; I can't sleep. A couple of the Panassastra students have thanked me for wanting to tell the story of Cambodia's children, but I have told them that they (students) humble me because they are the ones doing the hard work. I just hope my documentary does them and the children of Cambodia justice. Otherwise I will feel that I have betrayed the trust that they have put in Erin, Ryan and me.
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